http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26532514-952,00.html

Dumbest criminals caught out

THEY may have broken the law but these offenders could never be called criminal masterminds.

Queensland Police have told The Courier-Mail about catching some of 2009's dumbest criminals.

June 11

A police officer noticed a vehicle following him while he drove around Clermont, 280km southwest of Mackay, about 11.45pm. The car followed the police vehicle into the police station's yard and the driver got out to discuss a relationship problem. The man appeared drunk and when tested blew a blood-alcohol reading of 0.26. The 35-year-old man was charged with drink-driving, fined $1800 and disqualified from driving for 16 months.

June 19

A teenager was seen leaving the Harvey Norman store at Warwick, 80km south of Toowoomba, with two video games he had not paid for. Police went to the store to speak with the informant and get a description of the suspect. Instead, they were handed a very useful document. A staffer recalled the thief had visited the store earlier to seek employment and had given them his curriculum vitae. Police went to the address listed on the CV and charged the teenager with shoplifting.

August 18

A woman went to Cecil Plains police on the Darling Downs to report her mobile phone had been stolen the night before. She had left it on her dining room table when a 34-year-old man known to her visited. When he left, she realised her phone was missing. When police visited the man's address, he denied knowing anything about the missing phone. Police then rang the number and heard the woman's phone ringing in the man's bedroom. He gave the phone to police and was given a notice to appear in the Dalby Magistrates Court .

November 5

Two men who allegedly robbed a hotel at Gladstone, 100km southeast of Rockhampton, at knife point did so without the benefit of a getaway car. They were forced to hitchhike away from the scene and were about 30km from Rockhampton when they used a $50 note as bait to flag down a silver Toyota sedan. The vehicle pulled over and the men got in only to find they had been picked up by two plainclothes detectives. One man and one juvenile were charged with robbery while armed and will appear for sentencing on April 1.

Our daughter became engaged to her Scottish partner today. He is a fine young man, and we are very happy for them both. It is three years today since they met in Inverness, Scotland. They came to Toowoomba last April, and plan to make their future home here. We had planned a BBQ for tomorrow night. I wonder if her partner and I will be dancing together like we were at the wedding we attended in Manchester last year. Better not, I suppose. I don't want to make our daughter jealous...

gather round, children

best wishes to all of you as we celebrate the return of light

be happy amongst your loved ones

the original banjo freak, Mr. Danny Barnes

brought to you by the lovely, talented and underrated Jill Sobule

Drive-by Truckers